On Ministers and Open Gates (Part 7)

I can remember every single one.

Every single instance.

Those moments, not always brief, but profound. I can remember them all.

One was in the passenger seat of a car. One was during a tour of a church. One was sitting in my kitchen chair in Nairobi. Another was with my parents as we sat around the large chest/coffee table in the entertainment room. One was in my brother’s and sister’s living room in front of the t.v. And one was in the basement of the home of my previous pastor, Jake.

All of these were moments when I wrestled with opportunities to pursue pastoral positions.

As was mentioned in a previous post, it is an incredibly tempting thing to jump at any and all opportunities. In a culture that teaches us that with education comes golden opportunities (and that they come quickly), it is easy to assume that the first open doors we come to are the ones through which we should walk. Especially for a young minister, full of other’s advice and eager to prove his/her own competence, there is a strong pull to accept whatever position opens up. And, if given the opportunity to interview for those positions, there is almost no question: pursue it at all costs!

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I remember those moments because they were all times when I felt a mixed concoction of excitement, anxiousness, and worry. It seemed that for every good thing about a particular position (or, at least, every ‘potentially’ good thing), I could find something else that may have been not-so-good. I tried to balance the pros and the cons. I talked my way through the possibilities, how my strengths and weaknesses would be used or challenged in different ways, attempted to discern a vision for the particular context and where the people were in their discipleship journey…

Attempting to discern the will of God is a difficult thing. Maybe it gets better with age and experience, or maybe it’s easier depending on the circumstances, I don’t truly know. But what I’ve come to discover is this: When the time is right, the will of the Lord is made clear.

It is good to wrestle with things. It is good to think through decisions, to seek counsel, to discern according to the best of our cognitive and emotional abilities. But, at the end of the day, we must recognize that even our best decisions making skills submit to the will of our Heavenly Father.

Many times our decision making skills align with His will, and so it is easy to discern. Other times, it almost goes in the opposite direction.

Most recently I was in that basement, pacing around nervously while I waited for a phone call from my new District Superintendent. My phone began to ring. I had been praying about this moment for a couple of weeks by that point. I had weighed the good and the bad, the pros and the cons, attempted to learn as much as I could about this particular church in order to make an informed decision. But I still was not completely sure what to do.

I answered. I don’t remember much, except this phrase: “The vote was pretty strong. But I don’t know how you could get a vote stronger than unanimous.”

For me, that was the moment of confirmation.

I want to be clear, though. My confirmation was not in the approval of what other people decided. I have had strong supporters for other positions before. In the end the decision to pursue what is now my first senior pastorate position fell upon the kind of confirmation and affirmation that can only come from God himself.

And, after all is said and done, he is the one to whom we are ultimately accountable.

“But seek first his Kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:33-34

When we seek first the will of our Lord, our way will be made clear. Perhaps not as timely as we would like, but when it matters the most.

 

Welcome to the life of a disciple.

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On Ministers and Patience (Part 4)

I was in the sanctuary not long ago reading the Scripture passages for this coming Sunday. I use the Lectionary, so those of you who are more liturgical will know what I was reading.

The Old Testament passage was from Genesis 15, where God is speaking to Abraham, and Abraham is aggravated with his being told promises that he has yet to see fulfilled.  The Gospel passage was from Luke 13 detailing a conversation between Jesus and some Pharisees who wanted him to leave Jerusalem. Instead, Jesus told them that he would stay and goes on to lament Jerusalem’s continued actions against prophets and expresses his desire to “gather [their] children together,” and ends with him telling Jerusalem that he will return again and they will say, “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.”

The last passage, the New Testament passage, is from Philippians 3. Here, Paul is telling the church in Philippi to remain diligent in their focus, and tells them that “our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

I couldn’t help but notice the common theme of “waiting” in these passages. Abraham had to wait on the promise God had given him, Jerusalem had to wait for Christ to fulfill his purpose, and Paul was telling the church that, as Christians, it is in our nature to be waiting in anticipation for Christ’s return.

What was also surprising to me was the Lectionary passage from last Sunday… The Gospel reading (and the focus of many a sermon) was on Jesus’ temptation in the dessert after his baptism. Here, and I am sure many of us are familiar with the story, Jesus is tempted by the Devil with three things: Food for his stomach, the authority to rule over all kingdoms, and the chance to showcase his power and authority as God’s Son. Now, none of these things are all that bad. In fact, they all satisfy a need for Jesus. He was fasting for 40 days, so he needed to eat (no harm in that – his time of fasting had ended anyway!). He came to proclaim His kingdom and his reclamation of all peoples from Sin, so taking ownership would have immediately accomplished that goal. And he struggled to show some people that he was, in fact, the son of God, so throwing himself from the top of the Temple to be rescued by angels would have proven once and for all who he truly is.

However, he did not give in to any of those temptations. Instead, he resisted. And, he waited.  In fact, you could argue that because he did not give in to two of those temptations we are still waiting for him to accomplish the tasks that could have been accomplished 2,000 years ago!

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As I was meditating on these passages, I couldn’t help but think back on my time spent in the ‘waiting room.’  In some respects, I am still there. I am currently an associate pastor, but I am also still searching for work because I am a pastor on a volunteer basis. So I’ve been transferred to the ’employment waiting room.’

It is so incredibly easy to lose patience while waiting for a ministry position to open up. You spend years of your life dedicated to the study of God’s word, the practice of ministry, and have invested so much of your time and resources to the Call that it feels almost criminal to not be serving in the capacity of a pastor immediately following graduation. And, unless you have developed other vocational skills, you would be hard-pressed to find a job doing anything else.

And yet, the Christian life is not spent running from one idea to the next. Yes, other people may seem so fortunate. They got the ideal internship that developed into the ideal placement, making the ideal amount of money, and met the ideal spouse, and are raising the ideal family. Those things happen, but I am encouraged by the fact that God does not allow us to sit any longer than what we can bear (and if my history has taught me anything, my behind is 100% grade A sit-able!).

Similar to Jesus’ temptation, rather than to become impatient and jump at the first open opportunity that comes our way, we would do well to wait patiently on the Lord for him to guide us to the right opportunity. In a world so full of “make yourself” career paths, it is increasingly difficult for young ministers to rely on a power they cannot control or even predict. As such, we need to be reminding ourselves frequently that our task is not to open doors, but to wait patiently for God to do his work.  For myself, I have to continually remind myself of this truth daily. I am not sure if that will ever change.

The one who has called you is faithful, and he will do it.